Big Sky Country

Thoughts on Motherhood

So a friend recently drew my attention to the fact that I have skipped a couple of months without an update. There are a few factors involved in this, one of them (of course) being my state of upcoming motherhood. Also involved is the fact that I have sent (a couple) emails, and couldn't think of much to say on blogger that wouldn't be redundant. Also contributing to the lack of posts was the fact that my computer was homeless. We gave our old computer desk to my SIL so our computer was on the floor in my back room (the only room with a phone jack for our internet connection) waiting for my husband to get a chance to crawl underneath the house to run a phone line to the kitchen where a gently loved new-to-us computer desk awaited the arrival of it's new occupant. So, my computer's been sitting on the floor for a month, and I'm too preggers now to sit on the floor and try to type.

So, I thought now that my computer has taken up residence in it's new desk, I would finally write a few of my scattered thoughts on impending motherhood down.

First of all, I learned a couple of facts about pregnancy that really shocked me:

1. I have 50% more blood in my body right now than I would if I wasn't pregnant
2. My brain has literally shrunk 8% in size.

PREGNANCY ACTUALLY CAUSES WOMEN'S BRAINS TO SHRINK!!! It regains it's normal size 6 mo.s post-partum, but it's still crazy to think that my brain is tiny right now! It sure explains a lot...just ask my boss! I've been making a ton of stupid mistakes lately. Now I have a really good excuse!

So, although I think I'm fairly emotionally prepared for motherhood, I do think that I do have on some rose-colored glasses. This is the first time that I won't be working since I've been married, and I keep thinking that I'll at least have time to vacuum and sweep regularly. However, from what I've read and heard from somewhat reliable sources, I'll have even less time than I do now, at least for a while, and I'll be trying to function while being severely sleep-deprived. hmmm, I may be in for a little bit of a wake-up call...no pun intended.

My biggest fear is that my dear husband will be even more shocked than I at the lack of time that I have. I think he's really excited for me to stay home and he has visions of Betty Crocker making sugar plums to dance through his head.... I know he'll adjust quickly, and I probably don't give him enough credit, but I'm still nervous about the whole thing.

At this stage, though, despite the fact that my nursery is still little more than a room in which to dump my junk (help!) I'm quite frightened by the prospect of labor and delivery. I know mentally that I shouldn't be. I know that, if I choose it, I can have pain killers that will significantly reduce the pain and ease the whole process. I have doctors that I really trust. I know that all my sisters and my mother have had relatively quick and problem-free deliveries. I know that women have been doing this for centuries and come out the other end still breathing, but it still scares me!I also know this is a natural feeling for me and that everyone will do everything they can to take care of me and alleviate my anxiety, but it's still a big thing.

And the last thing: quit touching me! I know what a temptation it is to touch a pregnant woman's belly, but that does not mean that I'm going to touch the belly of a complete stranger in the grocery store! Honestly people, BOUNDARIES! If anybody finds a t-shirt that says 'touching by invitation only', please send it to me. I'm not motivated enough to make one myself.

posted by Lindsey @ 7:08 PM